Have We Really Considered “‘Til Death Do Us Part”?

As a fairly young society, America has been hearing the phrase “’til death do us part,” and we tend to think of it with joy because it is an integral phrase of the marriage ceremony. But how many of us have really considered what that phrase actually signifies?

Oh, gee, we’re married! Hurray! Celebrations all around! and that’s great. Time passes (very quickly, by the way). Often children burst onto the scene–and time passes even MORE quickly! But as time manages its inevitable creep, a stunning and veritably heartbreaking realization begins to take shape: one of you will pass away first. We never talk about this. Ever. And why not? Our deaths are guaranteed.

In our culture, death is looked upon as a depressing subject, relegated to quiet whispers and somber conversations. Other cultures, particularly those of the Eastern traditions, tend to look upon it as a moment of liberation and opportunity–a cause for celebration.

Should we wait for the inevitability to sneak up on our aging selves, only to discover its reality at the worst possible time–the loss of our partners? A horrible irony here is that the longer we are with our other halves, the older we will be at the moment of loss–and also dealing with our own mortality and winding down as our bodies run out of time.

How can we help each other to prepare for this? Might it even make the time shared sweeter to know that the moment for the ultimate departure is barrelling down on us?